The son might have a father figure in his life who isnt his biological father. If your son struggles to make friends or has problems in his romantic relationships, it might be because of how his mother has treated him. She takes unwelcome liberties in her sons relationships. You dont have to agree with everything he does and say yes when he asks for something, but you must trust him enough to give him the space he needs to find his way and make mistakes along the way. 2. They may feel like they are not good enough or that they do not deserve their mother's love. If you see any of these signs in your own relationship with your mother, its important to address them so that you can have a healthy and happy relationship. Sometimes, its because their parents had trouble showing how they felt. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-1','ezslot_10',109,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-1-0'); The relationship between a mother and son is extremely important to a males upbringing, just as the father-son relationship is. They may also resent her for not leaving the abuser when they had the chance. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_12',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); Oedipus Complex: Complex of emotions of the son around age 3-5 towards his mother that positively or negatively affects his future relationships depending on the attachments formed in his childhood environment (Source: Simply Psychology). This is especially true if shes asingle motherand has been through a divorce. According to HUD, on any given night there's an estimated 580,000 homeless people, a staggering number, so what do you do when your son is one of them? Here are six signs of an unhealthy mother-son relationship: 1. Its important for mothers to have their own independent source of self-worth and not put such a burden on their sons. You might think that you know everything there is to know about your son, but its always nice to hear what he has to say. Some young men will be influenced by their peers or even older family members and mistreat their mothers. He may also feel that she is too controlling in how she handles his life, which can make him feel suffocated by his mother. Mothers should talk to their sons gently. There is a difference between the concerned mother giving advice out of love and the judgmental, pushy, and intrusive mother who just wants to tell her son what to do. It's unclear where the saying originated, but it permeates the relationship advice culture for women. A mother-son bond is important. Step 1. However, if the mother favors one child over another or treats them differently, then this may indicate an unwell relationship between the two. Check out our Have A Peaceful Home Without Yelling video course here. If your mom knew or heard step dad's comments and didn't try to stop him, she is abusive too. In this article, well talk about some of the most common problems that arise in mother-son relationships, as well as some ways you can help your family stay healthy and strong. I cant imagine my sons hating me, but Im sure neither can most moms. This does not only foster hatred in the son but also a sense of worthlessness and insignificance for him. What does it mean when We are Mathew Booe and Jackie Booe. The mother-son relationship is complex and often influenced by media depictions of what it means to be a man. Is it really possible for sons to hate their mothers and if so, what do we need to know about this?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_5',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. A son who has a destructive relationship with his mother will likely have an unhealthy relationship with others. Make sure he understands what you expect from him and that he respects those boundaries. When sons are mean to their mothers, it takes a toll on her emotionally and mentally. When a son grows up in an abusive household, their relationship with their mother is often strained. Another way to help sons understand how much their behavior hurts is for their mothers to write them letters. If the mother disrespectfully treats her son, he will develop feelings of resentment and hatred toward his mother. For the most part, the first thing Ive learned about sons who hate their mothers is that there is not a one-size-fits-all reason behind it. Sons in these relationships will feel obligated to help their mothers through their problems and issues constantly. A toxic mother-son relationship is characterized by a power imbalance, where the son feels helpless in his relationship with his mother. This can be clearly seen in the actions of males in particular. Parents who have been alienated by those they raised. When Your Mother Makes Up Stories (Explained With Tips). He needs to make mistakes and learn from them, which he cant do if youre constantly scolding him or telling him what to do. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. This can lead to the son feeling like he can never please his mother, no matter what he does. 4. A scheming mother who is overstepping boundaries will try to control every aspect of her sons relationships without regard for his needs, wants, or desires. He may start to believe that he will never be good enough for his mothers approval. If a mother constantly judges her son then he might end up resenting her for it because he does not want people to talk about him like that. These forums are designed as safe spaces where parents can ask questions and get helpful feedback without fear of judgment or criticism. A bossy mother will often want to know where her son is at all times, what hes doing, and who hes spending time with. The sons actions can include: Sons who treat their mothers poorly arent just hurting themselves. "If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, 'This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.' Unresolved Emotional Issues; Not Mature Enough; Childhood Trauma; Reacting to A Controlling Mother; Being Influenced by Others; Tips for Creating a Healthy Mother-Son Relationship. It will make him feel like he is not good enough or has done something wrong. Here are a few tips for dealing with sons who treat their mothers poorly. You want to set boundaries for him and make sure he treats you with respect, but at the same time, you might have trouble letting go of the idea that he will always be a child and that any behavior is justwhat kids do.. Much of what they describe, while conflict-laden and uncomfortable, doesn't seem bad enough . Related Has your son never had a girlfriend? Sons who hate their mothers may exhibit the following traits: Aggressive behavior Avoidance and detachment in relationships Distrust of females Emotional issues in childhood and in adult life What's tricky to comprehend, though, is that a son from an abusive mother will just as likely love her as hate her. Its difficult to say why some sons are mean to their mothers. You can find it in a million memes, It's reiterated in personal essays from women who say their worst relationships were with men who yelled at their moms . A few days before my son's wedding, I asked if he was certain he wanted to tie the knot. The hateful son might feel like his mother is attacking him, or he might feel like shes always putting him down. Sometimes it is the child's spouse who demands distancing from family. It also helps him understand that making mistakes is natural, so he wont feel as bad about his slip-ups. This can be a result of the mother feeling insecure in her own relationship with her son, or feeling like shes not getting enough attention from him. Or maybe she didnt show as much affection toward them as she did to youthats a sign of favoritism, which is also unhealthy for kids. This can lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment. Many factors contribute to this strained relationship, and mothers should not take it upon themselves to shoulder all the blame. Disclaimer regarding normal parent-child roles: There is the exception of the changing child-parent relationship when the parent is aging and the child takes on a care-giver identity akin to parenting. How Long Does It Take to Forgive a Cheating Spouse? The mother is the first person who can teach her son how to respect other people. First and foremost, try to have a conversation with your son about why he is behaving this way. They are often very close, but they can also be at odds with each other. Its important to understand the reasons behind this behavior so that we can address it effectively. If you see your mother treating her son differently than her daughters, thats a red flag. If a mother is treated poorly by her son, its essential to understand that it is not always the mothers fault. This is the conundrum. The relationship between a mother and her son can be a solid one. Peterson attributes the mothers fear of losing her son as a reason for her controlling behavior to manifest itself-to avoid or try to avoid her son leaving her. Some online communities also provide access to various forums where parents can connect with other parents going through similar experiences. Spouse Substitute. These sons also seem to portray a sense of avoidance when it comes to the nosy mother. If you want your son to grow into a healthy young man with good self-esteem, then you need to give him room for growth. Control is also evident when mothers make decisions for their children without consulting them first. Image credits depositphotos.com/stock-photo-parents-talking-son-bench-park. Many sons feel that their mothers try to control every aspect of their lives. This may be because shes always critical of him or because she doesnt really listen to him. An unhealthy relationship can also be characterized by a lack of communication between the two. Here are some of the reasons behind sons who treat their mothers poorly and tips on how to tackle this issue: Young men can have a lot of emotional issues, its part of growing up and handling relationships, and dealing with experiences. This problem is especially prevalent among African American and Hispanic families. When a son feels this way about their mother, they may be less likely to respect and listen to her later in life. Many sons who hate their mothers say it is because they grew up with a domineering, selfish, calculating, and scheming mother. She has three degrees in the field of education, been department chair of several grade levels, and interim principal in Los Angeles. Their mothers are over-involved in their lives. Please love your mother too. But if you notice that she never has anything interesting to say when she calls, that could signify that shes missing something in her life besides being your mom. 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